I am a female who has been married for almost nine months....and we are still happy as day we met! I know what you're thinking, well she just hasn't given it long enough! Before you dismiss the idea that I could have anything to say worth value, please read on...you see I have been married before, unfortunately it was five miserable years of my life! That's right, I said miserable!

There were quite a few things missing in that marriage and a few of them were:
1. Respect
2. Unconditional love
3. Trust


Respect
Without respect one says and does whatever they want.. with no regards to the other person's feelings or concerns. If you can learn to respect what comes out of your own mouth you will get the same in return. That means we have to be careful of what we say- even in arguments!! Yes it's okay to argue, but the important thing to remember is to never say something that you would not want said to you in return. Always fight fair!! No name calling.. that is just immature.. and yet so easy to do when we are mad yet often we say things we "don't mean" when we are mad. It just takes a little work, and may seem to go unnoticed at first, but consider the damage we do that cannot be undone when we continue to use our partner as a verbal punching bag. Consider it a reward for self improvement!

Unconditional love
This is the kind of love all couples should have for one another, much like the love we have for our children. It includes letting your partner know you love still love them even when they have made simple mistakes like locking themselves out of the house or getting fired from their job. A coworker once told me that all anyone really wants is understanding. I have come to realize this to be true. Understand and forgive imperfections in your partner and know that we ALL make mistakes. Do not dwell on the negative qualities just look over it and reassure them that things will work out just fine. You would be surprised how far a little encouragement in a time of need can go.


Trust
Last but not least is trust. This can be such a tough pill to swallow when you have been hurt from previous relationships. I have learned that without trust there are a great deal of problems that can arise; problems that would not even exist had you only had trust for one another. Sometimes we just have to close our eyes and let go. You could say trust is like faith..you just believe in something from your heart and know that things will work themselves out. Without this key ingredient, your marriage is doomed to be headed for a rocky road.

As we all have heard marriage takes work.. this is true, but why make the work any harder than it has to be? Believe in your spouse, love them for all that they are and all they aren't and remind yourself everyday just what it was that drew the two of you together. Give them the respect you would like to have- hence "do unto others as you would have them do unto you". Remember to trust what they say and do and believe that they have good intentions at heart. If you have these three things in your marriage, then rest assured you and your partner stand a very good chance of coexisting together and making it through anything!

I have found something useful that I wish I had known about a long time ago, below is a direct link.

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Saving you marriage with TRUST and LOVE!! The basics of ANY relationship!!
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Here is a wonderful site to help save a marriage from divorce
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500 Secrets about men every woman should know!
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